Reporting on the General Election faded into the background over the Bank Holiday weekend as news that a woman had given birth to a baby dominated newspaper and TV headlines across the UK.
The child, a girl, was born into a family that has lived off public money for generations. Although the girl’s father claims that he has a job as a helicopter pilot, it is clear that this will not support his lavish lifestyle. The family sustains two large homes: a three bedroomed home in London and a ten-bedroomed holiday home in the country. The London home is slightly larger than their needs: according to official standards, their toddler and newborn baby can share a bedroom for the next eight years. Nonetheless the family enjoys an extra boost from the fact that they are exempt from paying the bedroom tax. [Adverts]
The family’s country home is an extra perk, way above their statutory needs. It is understood that some vague explanation has been given for the extra bedrooms on the basis that the new baby’s grandparents want to come and stay to help with the new baby. Apparently they are able to take unlimited paid time off work to assist the new mother, who would otherwise be on her own with the two children once her husband goes back to work after his six weeks’ leave which coincided with the birth.
While many new parents look at their children and worry about how they are going to get them through school and what qualifications they will get (and what kind of job this may led to), this baby’s parents know from the outset that their daughter will have secure employment – that is to say, a secure income. This is because she is part of the British Government, which has two wings – an elected wing, and a hereditary wing. Asked whether having a hereditary element in the structures of government was appropriate for a western state in the third millennium, a spokesperson is believed to have pointed out that elections can always go wrong, and at least a hereditary system of government does away with the need for elections to be held at all.