Money Matters in Marriage

:: Nazmin Chowdhury ::

It’s hard to avoid that there is a definitive link between economic recession and divorce or marriage break – ups.  Statistics show in all major developing countries that when the economy hits a state of recession the pressures of financial woes lead to the decline in marriages, henceforth a rise in divorce rates.There are several reasons why recession and divorce go hand in hand together. One of the reasons is that in many marriages, money acts like a cushion and when the cushion is no longer there the bare bones of the relationship is exposed. And if what they see at the core of the marriage is not pretty then they tend to go for the divorce route.

The other possibility is that financial woes cause stress, and the stress can lead to depression. Living with a stressed and depressed person is not fun, so many decide at that point that they want out of the marriage.  It’s a testing time for couples during these difficult financial times.  It’s a time when the couples can see the strength of character of each other.  With the good times over and where the money was the main bond in t he marriage it just highlights the weak foundations of the relationship.  It is true money makes life a little easier as there is no worry for bills, can buy yourself to luxury goods and treat yourself to nights out, but in the process of enjoying what money can bring one forgets to form solid foundations of any relationship, which is communication, loyalty and friendship.

For many materialism of the world becomes more important than the basic elements of a marriage and relationship.   In marriage one should also really getting to know your partner and adjusting to each other even when they change, because people do change.Of course one should enjoy their hard earned money and treat themselves to holidays, nights out and shopping etc.  It is important too that along with these lovely things that couples establish solid friendship and communication at all levels, so during a rainy season that we do not blame each other but support and guide one another – A marriage with a solid base of communication and understanding would have made arrangement for a rainy day anyhow.

If we can just hold back, discuss and both agree on where to make the sacrifices then there is a chance to weather the storm.  Unfortunately, more and more people these days are not willing to sacrifice materialistic desires or cut backs to save a marriage and the blaming game starts.  Its almost seems like greed of money and control. At least one of them wants more control and it not will to tolerate any compromising situation. When people have financial difficulties they grow apart as either the partner who is doing better is not willing to take the extra burden of the failing partner or the partner who lost the job has the ego forcing to not lean and thus get apart.There are many who stay to for the sake of financial crisis as a divorce can essentially be very expensive but once they are in better situation they will part.  Couples stay together during recession because they know that they are financially secure together but insecure alone. They may even opt to live in separate bedrooms and even opposite ends of the house, if there is enough room, so that they rarely see on another. Although they will not be added to the divorce statistic during a recession the fact remains that the marriage has collapsed.  What one must remember is that the casualty of a recession is not just your household but hundreds across the nation hence why it is called a recession.  So bear in mind when playing the blaming game that the recession is not caused single handed by any one person.Finally, in my opinion couples who break when a financial crisis occurs would have grown a part otherwise eventually.

It was just the matter of time for them.  Just the extreme of their bank balance kept them together.  If a marriage is bonded with more substance like good communication and equality of control then it stands to be far healthier and stable which will weather a torrential financial storm any day.